Delight in Disorder Ministries
Tony Roberts, Chief Shepherd
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
(Psalms 37:4)
The Revealing Voices website has been retired. Prior podcasts may be accessible on various podcast sites.
Life, Recovery, Ministry: Looking Back and Seeking More
There is something about November that prompts me to look back on the many blessings God has bestowed on me during the year and make plans to accomplish what I can with the time remaining. Sort of an 11th hour/month Examen/examination of conscience that puts me in my place even as I embrace gratitude. Advent begins November 29, so as of this writing I have just 18 days to shop for a Jesse Tree where I can hang the ornaments my good friend and Scripture study mentor Janet made for me. This morning I was looking through recent journals and found one I started around this time last year, when I flew to Florida for a retreat at Our Lady of Perpetual Help (Venice) and to spend Thanksgiving with my college roomie Joe and his lovely wife Joan. It was a momentous occasions as I was introduced to the Ignatian [...]
Staying the Course Through Dual Diagnosis Desolation
“When the morning’s freshness has been replaced by the weariness of midday, when the leg muscles quiver under the strain, the climb seems endless, and suddenly, nothing will go quite as you wish—it is then you must not hesitate.” — Dag Hammarskoljold I found this Dag Hammarskojold quote in Timothy Gallagher's book The Discernment of Spirits: An Ignatian Guide for Everyday Living. In his Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius offers fourteen rules. The fifth rule begins: “in the time of desolation never make a change.” This rule is expressed as a suggestion in AA - "don't make a major change in the first year of recovery." Easier said than done. My path in recovery led me to admittance in an out-of-state treatment center, enrollment in a sober house. The people, places, and things around me completely changed for many months. The Holiday Season was particularly difficult. I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and [...]
Sisters of the Living Way: Wounded Healers at Work
Some time ago I became aware of the Sisters of the Little Way of Beauty, Truth, and Goodness (SOLT), a private association of the faithful intending to become a religious institute in the Diocese of Lexington, Kentucky. The mission of this budding community is - "listening and solidarity with people on the fringes of the Church, especially those who have been wounded, scandalized, or abused by members of the Church. We are the first community of sisters whose mission is explicitly dedicated to safeguarding, accompanying survivors, and educating about the dynamics of abuse in religious contexts." After listening to their podcast Descent Into Light, and communicating through email and Zoom, I have decided to contribute a portion of my time, talent, and treasure in support of their work. Today I had a video call with Emma, one of the SOLT volunteer coordinators. We shared our enthusiasam for being part of [...]
Mood Management: My Desire to Maintain Mild Mania
“I compare myself with my former self, not with others. Not only that, I tend to compare my current self with the best I have been, which is when I have been midly manic. When I am my present "normal" self, I am far removed from when I have been my liveliest, most productive, most intense, most outgoing and effervescent. In short, for myself, I am a hard act to follow.” ~ Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness For some time my already-diagnosed rapid cycling bipolar has been in overdrive. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of rapid-cycling, it is best expressed in the postcard someone sent home from Disneyland that reads, "Having a great time. Wish I were dead." My cycles have not reached suicidal extremes but they have seriously impeded my sleep schedule and curtailed my functioning. This past weekend I [...]
From An Obsession with Success to a Deeper Well
“Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” ~ Franz Kafka I have had many obsessions in life. As a young boy growing up in Indiana during the era of Bobby Knight's Hurrying Hoosiers, I was obsessed with basketball and what it took to be a success. Their 1975-76 Perfect Season coincided with the breakdown of my family and eventual divorce of my parents. I spent countless hours dreaming I would one day orchestrate such perfection, to erase the damnable loop, "God Hates Divorce" that pierced my soul. Nothing I could do on my own brought relief. Now, in my 60s, twice divorced myself, 15 in-patient psychiatric stays, and twice in treatment for dual diagnosis (alcoholism/bipolar), I have come to the Living Water of Christ as if for [...]
My Mad Mission and the Method in My Madness
One of the methods in my madness as I pursue any mission is to seek counsel from a variety of sources. I have come to realize that in doing this, I open myself up to questions and comments I may not like. But I believe strongly that “iron sharpens iron” and I can typically detect constructive criticism from those that miss the mark. I also value the prayer power that comes out of having many intercessors, no matter their depth or breadth of faith. I have put myself out there on two fronts this week. First, a Dual Disorders collaboration with Catholic in Recovery (CiR). I gleaned much favorable feedback. In short order the collaboration was approved and will start soon. The leader of CiR’s Dual Disorders group also mentioned in our Zoom call that he would be interested in supporting me in my writing and future projects. [...]