Delight in Disorder: Ministry, Madness, Mission2017-06-24T18:57:55-04:00

Self-Pity or Emotional Honesty?

"Mitch, I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, and that's all." I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few minutes, then on with the day. And if Morrie could do it, with such a horrible disease . . . ― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie. Self-pity, in measured doses, is a natural expression of grief and sadness. It is part of being human. God would expect no less from us. It can even be beneficial. As we get in touch with our personal emotions, we can be more empathetic towards others. But, there is a time and a place for self-pity. If it spills over too broadly, our relationships can become terribly imbalanced. This is particularly [...]

By |July 8th, 2020|Categories: faith, Mental Illness|Tags: , , |0 Comments

The Personal Cost of Freedom

I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner some time ago. The guy ahead of me had just come home from Afghanistan. He was buying dinner for his son and himself. The total came to over $20. He didn’t have enough. They said they would give him a 10% military discount. Still not enough. He started taking away food from his order until he could afford it. Sad. Then I saw a man who had heard this haggling hand him $100 bill and say, "Thanks for your service." The soldier teared up and said, "You don’t know how much this means to me." The man smiled and said,  "You don’t know how much what you do means to me." I posted this story on Facebook and it got well over 100 likes and a dozen shares. It shows that people really want to care about those willing to give [...]

By |July 5th, 2020|Categories: Spiritual Reflections|Tags: , , |0 Comments

So you want to marry someone who has bipolar?

I'm pleased to report I have survived another round of mixed states. It occurred to me today that as one with bipolar disorder, not only am a more vulnerable to stress, but because others are more stressed relating to me. Not because of who I am, but because of what my illness does. If you love someone with a mental illness, what do you think? If you have a mental illness, do you accept this? For today's post, I thought I'd share a humorous piece I wrote sometime ago about being in a relationship with someone who is bipolar. It is purely fictional, of course. Resemblance to any actual figure is not intended, but can easily be figured out. So you want to marry someone who has bipolar? You may want to reconsider if he... ... follows you around the mall telling you how ridiculous you are for wanting to [...]

By |June 28th, 2020|Categories: Family|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Delight in Disorder: Cultivating My First Book

I am going through a medication change at the moment. It is a slight "tweaking," but it makes me drowsy much of the time. It is difficult to concentrate and muster the muse for sustained creativity. I thought it best to recycle an older post. This once was written March 8, 2017. It was the first post published in this blog. I had 12 subscribers then. Now I have 449. My guess is that some of you haven't read this. For over twenty five years,  I have journeyed with this illness from manic (even psychotic) peaks to dark valleys of despair.  At both extremes, I have flirted with death—coming very close to ending my life and doing great damage to those around me.  For no apparent reason but the mercy of the Lord, God has kept me alive, saving me  from certain destruction. Yet, I have also found genuine delight in [...]

By |June 21st, 2020|Categories: Delight in Disorder, writing|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Leaning on My Tribe: An Appeal for Prayer

Yesterday, I published this blog post about the “mixed state” I’m now experiencing. Immediately, encouraging words and uplifting prayers came pouring in. For this, I am very grateful. Knowing I am not alone in this battle gives me more confidence to endure. But the attacks remain fierce. On my morning walk today, voices were yelling at me all the things I’ve done wrong in the past and how I am bound to fail in the future. It is not a coincidence that the Adversary is advancing the war as my ministry grows stronger. One of my readers, Paul M., suggested I appeal to my friends and readers to engage in collective prayer for me as I walk through this valley. So, I am doing just that. I would appreciate your hopeful thoughts, encouraging words, and, particularly your uplifting prayers. I need your prayerful support. I believe God hears the prayers [...]

By |June 18th, 2020|Categories: faith, Mental Illness|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Hopeless Agitation: When Depression Meets Mania

I am in an extended "mixed state." A mixed state is perhaps the most unpleasant and risky mood state in bipolar disorder. It is where the bleak hopelessness of depression meets the frenetic agitation of mania. In my mixed states, I find it impossible to be creative. I am mean to others, particularly my wife. I want to just take my mind off my troubles, but my mind refuses to be distracted. The extended mixed state I am now in is raising the question of whether my current regiment of medication is working. I've been on the same "cocktail" of four psychotropics for over seven years now. For someone with my diagnosis, that's a long time to be on the same meds. My psychiatrists has done about all the "tweaking" she can do, as I'm on the maximum doses of each med. I may have to face the reality that [...]

By |June 17th, 2020|Categories: Mental Illness|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Self-Pity or Emotional Honesty?

"Mitch, I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, and that's all." I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few minutes, then on with the day. And if Morrie could do it, with such a horrible disease . . . ― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie. Self-pity, in measured doses, is a natural expression of grief and sadness. It is part of being human. God would expect no less from us. It can even be beneficial. As we get in touch with our personal emotions, we can be more empathetic towards others. But, there is a time and a place for self-pity. If it spills over too broadly, our relationships can become terribly imbalanced. This is particularly [...]

By |July 8th, 2020|Categories: faith, Mental Illness|Tags: , , |0 Comments

The Personal Cost of Freedom

I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner some time ago. The guy ahead of me had just come home from Afghanistan. He was buying dinner for his son and himself. The total came to over $20. He didn’t have enough. They said they would give him a 10% military discount. Still not enough. He started taking away food from his order until he could afford it. Sad. Then I saw a man who had heard this haggling hand him $100 bill and say, "Thanks for your service." The soldier teared up and said, "You don’t know how much this means to me." The man smiled and said,  "You don’t know how much what you do means to me." I posted this story on Facebook and it got well over 100 likes and a dozen shares. It shows that people really want to care about those willing to give [...]

By |July 5th, 2020|Categories: Spiritual Reflections|Tags: , , |0 Comments

So you want to marry someone who has bipolar?

I'm pleased to report I have survived another round of mixed states. It occurred to me today that as one with bipolar disorder, not only am a more vulnerable to stress, but because others are more stressed relating to me. Not because of who I am, but because of what my illness does. If you love someone with a mental illness, what do you think? If you have a mental illness, do you accept this? For today's post, I thought I'd share a humorous piece I wrote sometime ago about being in a relationship with someone who is bipolar. It is purely fictional, of course. Resemblance to any actual figure is not intended, but can easily be figured out. So you want to marry someone who has bipolar? You may want to reconsider if he... ... follows you around the mall telling you how ridiculous you are for wanting to [...]

By |June 28th, 2020|Categories: Family|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Delight in Disorder: Cultivating My First Book

I am going through a medication change at the moment. It is a slight "tweaking," but it makes me drowsy much of the time. It is difficult to concentrate and muster the muse for sustained creativity. I thought it best to recycle an older post. This once was written March 8, 2017. It was the first post published in this blog. I had 12 subscribers then. Now I have 449. My guess is that some of you haven't read this. For over twenty five years,  I have journeyed with this illness from manic (even psychotic) peaks to dark valleys of despair.  At both extremes, I have flirted with death—coming very close to ending my life and doing great damage to those around me.  For no apparent reason but the mercy of the Lord, God has kept me alive, saving me  from certain destruction. Yet, I have also found genuine delight in [...]

By |June 21st, 2020|Categories: Delight in Disorder, writing|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Leaning on My Tribe: An Appeal for Prayer

Yesterday, I published this blog post about the “mixed state” I’m now experiencing. Immediately, encouraging words and uplifting prayers came pouring in. For this, I am very grateful. Knowing I am not alone in this battle gives me more confidence to endure. But the attacks remain fierce. On my morning walk today, voices were yelling at me all the things I’ve done wrong in the past and how I am bound to fail in the future. It is not a coincidence that the Adversary is advancing the war as my ministry grows stronger. One of my readers, Paul M., suggested I appeal to my friends and readers to engage in collective prayer for me as I walk through this valley. So, I am doing just that. I would appreciate your hopeful thoughts, encouraging words, and, particularly your uplifting prayers. I need your prayerful support. I believe God hears the prayers [...]

By |June 18th, 2020|Categories: faith, Mental Illness|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Hopeless Agitation: When Depression Meets Mania

I am in an extended "mixed state." A mixed state is perhaps the most unpleasant and risky mood state in bipolar disorder. It is where the bleak hopelessness of depression meets the frenetic agitation of mania. In my mixed states, I find it impossible to be creative. I am mean to others, particularly my wife. I want to just take my mind off my troubles, but my mind refuses to be distracted. The extended mixed state I am now in is raising the question of whether my current regiment of medication is working. I've been on the same "cocktail" of four psychotropics for over seven years now. For someone with my diagnosis, that's a long time to be on the same meds. My psychiatrists has done about all the "tweaking" she can do, as I'm on the maximum doses of each med. I may have to face the reality that [...]

By |June 17th, 2020|Categories: Mental Illness|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments