faith | Delight in Disorder

Bruised, Not Broken: Resilient Hearts

A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. (Isaiah 42.3) My parents divorced in 1975. From then on, I have been identified as a child of a broken home. This brokenness certainly describes the nature of the family we once had, or hoped to have. That image of family is forever broken, shattered, never to be fixed. But I am not a broken person. Bruised, yes. Even deeply wounded, but not broken. At least not forever broken. Fractured, but capable of being mended. In time, with plenty of prayer and much care, I have passed through stages of recovery to become a wounded healer who intimately feels the pain of others and, by God's grace, responds in love. In her soon-to-be published book Kicked to the Curb, Dr. Susan Lockwood describes resilience is the life of a young woman named Rose. Rose is a twenty-something [...]

Bruised, Not Broken: Resilient Heartstonyroberts2018-09-19T11:53:23+00:00

The ACTS of a Balanced Prayer Life

We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Thessalonians 1.2-3) “The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” ― Søren Kierkegaard Typically, we think of prayer in the sense of asking God to do something beneficial for us or others. Forgive. Guide. Provide. Heal. All these are crucial components to a balanced prayer life, but if we focus only on what we want from God, we will lose sight of all that God is and who we are in relation to God. When I first became a Christian, a friend taught me a simple method of prayer I have carried with me to this day. I don't always follow the [...]

The ACTS of a Balanced Prayer Lifetonyroberts2018-08-27T20:14:47+00:00

The Fruit of Faithful Friends

In March of 2014, I met Eric Riddle, a fellow pilgrim on the road to faithful recovery from mental illness. We had both seen the good and bad of mental health care and faith community ministries and thought God might use us to contribute to the solution rather than just complain about the problem. We committed to meet weekly for walks, Scripture study, intercessory prayer, and brainstorming. We spent a great deal of time at first dealing with our own brokenness. Eric and I both had received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and had been treated both as inpatients and outpatients. Beyond our mental health diagnoses, we shared the pain of broken relationships, the joys and concerns of parenting, our hopes and fears for the faith communities, our local community, our nation, our world. Our genuine prayer was that God might use us as wounded healers, partnering with churches and [...]

The Fruit of Faithful Friendstonyroberts2018-08-12T20:42:52+00:00

Who Are You?

I am a Christian who has bipolar disorder. I cycle from extreme mania to pits of depression, but I am not a manic-depressive. My identity is not in my illness. My identity is in Christ. Where do you find your identity? This morning my pastor shared a story of a teenage girl who had lost a sense of her she was. Like many her age, she had looked for her identity in relationships with others just as lost as she was. Her self-worth plummeted. Whatever confidence she once had crashed to the ground. She desperately needed someone to pick her up, someone to share with her the hope that was rooted in her faith. Not just some wish for better days, but a genuine hope that would hold onto her when she fell. Somehow, she found her way to the pastor's study. He sat quietly with her. Listened to her. [...]

Who Are You?tonyroberts2018-07-29T21:47:27+00:00

A Faithful Response to Suicide

I am a man of faith who has attempted suicide. As such, I feel a unique responsibility to share my story. I want to stress that this is my own story. Not the story of Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. Robin Williams. Or the countless others who don't make the news. Still, maybe my story will contribute to a better understanding of how someone like me could choose death over life. First, my own story. In high school, I was a star athlete and a stellar student. I gave a speech at my high school graduation and shared a poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson called, "Richard Cory." It begins: Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim. And ends... So on we worked, and waited for the light, And went without the [...]

A Faithful Response to Suicidetonyroberts2018-06-11T19:53:29+00:00

Heritage from the Lord; Fruit of the Womb

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:3) After worship today we had a luncheon recognizing Nursery volunteers. Our coordinator shared Psalm 127:3 and noted how important children are in the life of the faith family. She called the names of those who are serving in nursery care. It was quite impressive to hear of the many women, men, and teens devoting their time to see that the youngest among us are cared for in Christ. This day also happens to be my grandson's second birthday. I don't see him often, but each time I do he is a delight. Unlike his older sister who has the vocabulary of an Oxford grad, he is the daredevil in the family. All boy, as they say. We were playing on their jungle gym and I noticed when he got to the bottom of the slide [...]

Heritage from the Lord; Fruit of the Wombtonyroberts2018-06-03T20:26:14+00:00

Good News for Good Friends

It was "Bring a Friend Sunday" at my church today. The Lord gave me strength to get up and pick up three of my friends. My sister joined us as well. It was a gorgeous sunny day. The sort of day I imagine the Psalmist faced as he rejoiced, "This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Announcements were given of all the Lord is doing through our faith community. The Psalms spoken and sung called us to worship. Scripture shared the promise of new life for all who are born again in the Spirit of Christ. Prayers were offered praising God for faithful friends and loving family, calling on God to heal the hurting, guide the lost, save the fallen. Then Pastor Andy read the focus text, Zechariah 3:1-10, which begins with a prophetic vision: 3:1 Then he showed me Joshua the high [...]

Good News for Good Friendstonyroberts2018-05-20T23:19:15+00:00

My Mom: Parenting, Pills, and Prayer

This past Sunday was Mother's Day. Earlier in the week, as I was driving my mom to get groceries, she took me by the hand and said, "You know what I would like most for Mother's Day? For all of my children to come to church with me." Three of us joined her as the pastor preached about mothers who pass on faith in Christ to their children. I have not given much credit to my mother for passing on her faith to me. There is a reason for this. For much of my childhood and up until very recently, Mom has battled with various ailments that have consumed her attention. Shortly after I was born, she started taking "nerve" pills, like Valium, and "pain medicine" like morphine. This was common practice in women of her generation. Rather than listen closely to the needs of women, doctors shut them up [...]

My Mom: Parenting, Pills, and Prayertonyroberts2018-05-17T20:01:26+00:00

Granny Told Me His Name: Lee Ann Leach

It was just about two weeks ago that I found out that others didn’t hear noises in their heads like I do. I have had them all my life. Normal sounds. A car door slamming. A bell ringing. A buzzing sound. Someone saying my name. A ping. This is just one symptom of my mental illness. Right from the start the nurses in the nursery in the hospital where I was born immediately noticed that I was the “most nervous baby” they all had ever seen. Alberta Baptist Church, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, 1971. There was a great pouring out of the Spirit in the area at the time and there were revivals going on all over town. Embry Williams was preaching at a week night revival at Alberta Baptist Church. I don’t remember the sermon or what really happened that night, but I do know that I walked down and [...]

Granny Told Me His Name: Lee Ann Leachtonyroberts2018-03-18T16:22:29+00:00

we are revealing voices 3.1.2018

I'm delighted to announce the birth of a Delight in Disorder daughter mission, the podcast revealing voices. Our show debuts March 1. Here's is the audio and text of our trailer. Eric (E): We welcome you to the trailer of our Revealing Voices podcast. Before launching into the trailer, I want to say thank you to all of those who supported us in our successful Indiegogo campaign in November and December. In the upcoming episodes, we will will thank you personally for your generosity. (E): Now please let me introduce you to my friend and co-host Tony Roberts. Tony is a published author and blogger, focused on matters of faith and mental health. He is the father of four and grandfather of two, with one on the way. Music feeds Tony’s soul and John Prine is his muse. Tony (T): And that was my friend Eric [...]

we are revealing voices 3.1.2018tonyroberts2018-02-01T01:15:38+00:00