Delight in Disorder: Ministry, Madness, Mission2022-08-24T22:12:35-04:00

Delight in Disorder Ministries

Tony Roberts, Chief Shepherd

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
(Psalms 37:4)

Brain Balm; Volume 1, Issue 1: The Day the Voices were silenced.

"There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole."** **Songwriters: Nana MOUSKOURI / Roger LOUBET   Balm in Gilead lyrics © Raoul Breton Editions Brain Balm is a once weekly newsletter exploring topics related to faith and mental illness. This week, and this week only, you will receive bonus devotions taken from my first book Delight in Disorder, available through Amazon. It started when I was taking a test Mr. Lang's Algebra II class. I was a precocious sophomore. I heard a voice. It started in my brain then shifted to the walls, the ceilings around me. "You're stupid. You're a phony. You are a failure." What started as one voice became two, three, ten, a cacophony of chaotic voices that would become my constant companion for over three decades. I have sought the best psychiatry. I have found a measure of relief to cope with the symptoms, but no lasting relief. [...]

By |May 22nd, 2022|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

Prayers Inspired by Psalms with a Friend by George Love

In his book Psalms with a Friend George Love recommends writing Psalm prayers after reading and reflecting on them. Here is my Psalm 18 prayer: God of the Sabbath, my enemies surround me and disturb me. I have been restless and have desperately tried to fight back, overextending myself. I panicked. Then I cried out to you. I asked my friends to pray for me. You heard my cries. You answered our prayers. You delivered me from the deadly ways of desperation and gave me restorative rest. And from Psalm 35: Then I will rejoice in the LORD.      I will be glad because he rescues me. With every bone in my body      I will praise him. Lord, who can compare with you?     Who else rescues the helpless from the strong? (Psalm 35.9-10) ... give great joy to those who came to my defense.   [...]

By |May 11th, 2022|Categories: book, quotes, recovery, writing|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

Hope for Troubled Minds: Dear Bobby, from your grateful mom.

Dear Bobby, One of my greatest accomplishments in life was becoming your mother - I had hopes and dreams for the man you would become. Your intelligence, compassion and determination in everything you did brought me a great sense of pride. Bipolar disorder no doubt changed the way I see the world and what I now want for you, my loving son. This brain illness at times has made you say and do things uncharacteristic of the person that I know is deep inside of you.  It is an illness that has caused much turmoil for you, for this I am deeply sorry and only wish that as your mother I could take the pain away. Despite great suffering, despair and heartbreak, bipolar disorder has taught me so much. It has taught me that we live in a world where those with serious brain disorders are discriminated against.  We live [...]

Mental Health or Brain Illness Awareness?

Recently I've been sharing my story in a variety of places that reach people interested in faith and mental health. I've gotten a wide ranges of responses and I'm delighted for this. I want to share one with you that I found very thought provoking. Hi Tony, am appreciating your posts on FaithNet but how come you’re promoting brain illness instead of focusing on nervous system dysregulation and recovery? Things like the importance of restorative sleep and techniques to calm our nervous system? My short answer is borrowed from a quote of Jesus in Mark 2.17a -- It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  May is known as mental health awareness month and, from one perspective, this is unfortunate. While it is true that the mental health needs of many need to be addressed, it seems lately we have tipped the scale to favor those [...]

By |May 3rd, 2022|Categories: Mental Illness|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Sharing My Story with Law Enforcement and Facebook Responses

I published the following post and it elicited much response: My name is Rev. Tony Roberts and I live with my wife Susan and lab Briley in Columbus, IN. I have a diagnosis of rapidly cycling bipolar disorder with psychotic features. Every day is an adventure. Some are joyous. Others are volatile. Thanks to the grace of God, the miracle of medicine, and the support of my caregiving team, I do relatively well, though I have limitations others do not have. On my best days, you could never tell I have a severe mental illness. Then there have been days when I’m confined to bed and see no future beyond the next labored breath. In February of 1995, I was riding high — an ambitious pastor with a young family at a church poised for growth. I was driven to succeed, to make a difference in people’s lives and have [...]

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