A Faithful Response to Suicide

I am a man of faith who has attempted suicide. As such, I feel a unique responsibility to share my story. I want to stress that this is my own story. Not the story of Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. Robin Williams. Or the countless others who don't make the news. Still, maybe my story will contribute to a better understanding of how someone like me could choose death over life. First, my own story. In high school, I was a star athlete and a stellar student. I gave a speech at my high school graduation and shared a poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson called, "Richard Cory." It begins: Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim. And ends... So on we worked, and waited for the light, And went without the [...]

A Faithful Response to Suicide 2018-06-11T19:53:29+00:00

Heritage from the Lord; Fruit of the Womb

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,     the fruit of the womb a reward.  (Psalm 127:3) After worship today we had a luncheon recognizing Nursery volunteers. Our coordinator shared Psalm 127:3 and noted how important children are in the life of the faith family. She called the names of those who are serving in nursery care. It was quite impressive to hear of the many women, men, and teens devoting their time to see that the youngest among us are cared for in Christ. This day also happens to be my grandson's second birthday. I don't see him often, but each time I do he is a delight. Unlike his older sister who has the vocabulary of an Oxford grad, he is the daredevil in the family. All boy, as they say. We were playing on their jungle gym and I noticed when he got to the bottom of the slide [...]

Heritage from the Lord; Fruit of the Womb 2018-06-03T20:26:14+00:00

Good News for Good Friends

It was "Bring a Friend Sunday" at my church today. The Lord gave me strength to get up and pick up three of my friends. My sister joined us as well. It was a gorgeous sunny day. The sort of day I imagine the Psalmist faced as he rejoiced, "This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Announcements were given of all the Lord is doing through our faith community. The Psalms spoken and sung called us to worship. Scripture shared the promise of new life for all who are born again in the Spirit of Christ. Prayers were offered praising God for faithful friends and loving family, calling on God to heal the hurting, guide the lost, save the fallen. Then Pastor Andy read the focus text, Zechariah 3:1-10, which begins with a prophetic vision: 3:1 Then he showed me Joshua the high [...]

Good News for Good Friends 2018-05-20T23:19:15+00:00

My Mom: Parenting, Pills, and Prayer

This past Sunday was Mother's Day. Earlier in the week, as I was driving my mom to get groceries, she took me by the hand and said, "You know what I would like most for Mother's Day? For all of my children to come to church with me." Three of us joined her as the pastor preached about mothers who pass on faith in Christ to their children. I have not given much credit to my mother for passing on her faith to me. There is a reason for this. For much of my childhood and up until very recently, Mom has battled with various ailments that have consumed her attention. Shortly after I was born, she started taking "nerve" pills, like Valium, and "pain medicine" like morphine. This was common practice in women of her generation. Rather than listen closely to the needs of women, doctors shut them up [...]

My Mom: Parenting, Pills, and Prayer 2018-05-17T20:01:26+00:00

Granny Told Me His Name: Lee Ann Leach

It was just about two weeks ago that I found out that others didn’t hear noises in their heads like I do. I have had them all my life. Normal sounds. A car door slamming. A bell ringing. A buzzing sound. Someone saying my name. A ping. This is just one symptom of my mental illness. Right from the start the nurses in the nursery in the hospital where I was born immediately noticed that I was the “most nervous baby” they all had ever seen. Alberta Baptist Church, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, 1971. There was a great pouring out of the Spirit in the area at the time and there were revivals going on all over town. Embry Williams was preaching at a week night revival at Alberta Baptist Church. I don’t remember the sermon or what really happened that night, but I do know that I walked down and [...]

Granny Told Me His Name: Lee Ann Leach 2018-03-18T16:22:29+00:00

we are revealing voices 3.1.2018

I'm delighted to announce the birth of a Delight in Disorder daughter mission, the podcast revealing voices. Our show debuts March 1. Here's is the audio and text of our trailer.     Eric (E): We welcome you to the trailer of our Revealing Voices podcast. Before launching into the trailer, I want to say thank you to all of those who supported us in our successful Indiegogo campaign in November and December. In the upcoming episodes, we will will thank you personally for your generosity. (E): Now please let me introduce you to my friend and co-host Tony Roberts. Tony is a published author and blogger, focused on matters of faith and mental health. He is the father of four and grandfather of two, with one on the way. Music feeds Tony’s soul and John Prine is his muse. Tony (T): And that was my friend Eric [...]

we are revealing voices 3.1.2018 2018-02-01T01:15:38+00:00

Penance: Spiritual Self-Harm

penance: (n) punishment inflicted on oneself as an outward expression of repentance for wrongdoing. ‘he had done public penance for those hasty words’.   When I first separated from my (now) ex-wife, I was miserable. I wrestled with a sense of guilt and confusion, searching my mind for what I could have done differently to make a better marriage. It wasn't as if I had shut God out of my life, or the life of my family. Faith, while admittedly mixed with many of my own flaws, was evident in who we were and how we behaved. My mental illness had certainly played a strong role, but even that didn't seem like an adequate reason. Granted, over 90% of people with bipolar who marry wind up divorced. Yet, I held out hope that God would bless us to be the slim exceptions. My time alone after I left my family behind [...]

Penance: Spiritual Self-Harm 2018-01-24T03:18:30+00:00

The Secret to Finding Sanity After a Mental Episode (by Katie Dale)

I was sauntering through Wordpress blogs that have "faith" and "mental illness" tags. I found very little, which is further confirmation that what we do here at Delight in Disorder is so vital and essential. Just as I was about to take a screen break, my eyes fell on a blog with an interesting title: Bipolar Brave.  The landing page immediately drew me in -- a picture of a joyful young woman, next to a well-defined three-sentence elevator message: “They may say I need to take a step of faith, and I will tell them, I did. The truth is, no matter how much faith one has, medication is nothing short of a miracle. Doctors treat, God heals.”.  You can't get any closer than this in expressing the intimate relationship between faith and mental illness. So, I reached out to Katie and invited her to do a guest post for [...]

The Secret to Finding Sanity After a Mental Episode (by Katie Dale) 2018-01-19T16:03:27+00:00

Moving Anxiety to Motivation

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4.6) My good friend Eric came over Saturday. We now have all the recording equipment necessary for our upcoming podcast, "Revealing Voices," and now need to learn how to use it before our debut on March 1. Eric also brought over a Ninja blender to make the smoothies we will drink and review on our show. Eric was here from 10:30 am - 3:30 pm and made tremendous progress. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. The more time passed, the more progress Eric made, the more my mind became encased in a cage of anxiety. Eric is a good communicator, but because of my state of mind, here's what I heard: "Blah, blah, Skype, blah, blurb, best practices, bloop, bloop, Blubrry,... embedding... migrating.. birds... [...]

Moving Anxiety to Motivation 2018-01-19T16:05:30+00:00

Emotional Honesty or Self-Pity?

I've been reading a number of Wordpress blogs on the topic of mental illness. I find some of them quite moving - gripping depictions of tormented souls. Others are more like emotional diarrhea. More like what you would find on an episode of Jerry Springer than in an in-depth therapy session. So, I've been looking back on my own life and wondering what marks the distinction between emotional honesty and self-pity? First, self-pity. Mitch, I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, and that's all." I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few minutes, then on with the day. And if Morrie could do it, with such a horrible disease . . . ― Mitch Albom, [...]

Emotional Honesty or Self-Pity? 2018-01-19T16:06:59+00:00