writing

Mood Management: My Desire to Maintain Mild Mania

“I compare myself with my former self, not with others. Not only that, I tend to compare my current self with the best I have been, which is when I have been midly manic. When I am my present "normal" self, I am far removed from when I have been my liveliest, most productive, most intense, most outgoing and effervescent. In short, for myself, I am a hard act to follow.” ~ Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness For some time my already-diagnosed rapid cycling bipolar has been in overdrive. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of rapid-cycling, it is best expressed in the postcard someone sent home from Disneyland that reads, "Having a great time. Wish I were dead." My cycles have not reached suicidal extremes but they have seriously impeded my sleep schedule and curtailed my functioning. This past weekend I [...]

Mood Management: My Desire to Maintain Mild Maniatonyroberts2026-10-15T01:23:20-04:00

From An Obsession with Success to a Deeper Well

“Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” ~ Franz Kafka I have had many obsessions in life. As a young boy growing up in Indiana during the era of Bobby Knight's Hurrying Hoosiers, I was obsessed with basketball and what it took to be a success. Their 1975-76 Perfect Season coincided with the breakdown of my family and eventual divorce of my parents. I spent countless hours dreaming I would one day orchestrate such perfection, to erase the damnable loop, "God Hates Divorce" that pierced my soul. Nothing I could do on my own brought relief. Now, in my 60s, twice divorced myself, 15 in-patient psychiatric stays, and twice in treatment for dual diagnosis (alcoholism/bipolar), I have come to the Living Water of Christ as if for [...]

From An Obsession with Success to a Deeper Welltonyroberts2026-10-12T03:39:15-04:00

My Mad Mission and the Method in My Madness

One of the methods in my madness as I pursue any mission is to seek counsel from a variety of sources. I have come to realize that in doing this, I open myself up to questions and comments I may not like. But I believe strongly that “iron sharpens iron” and I can typically detect constructive criticism from those that miss the mark. I also value the prayer power that comes out of having many intercessors, no matter their depth or breadth of faith. I have put myself out there on two fronts this week. First, a Dual Disorders collaboration with Catholic in Recovery (CiR). I gleaned much favorable feedback. In short order the collaboration was approved and will start soon. The leader of CiR’s Dual Disorders group also mentioned in our Zoom call that he would be interested in supporting me in my writing and future projects. [...]

My Mad Mission and the Method in My Madnesstonyroberts2026-10-10T00:43:25-04:00

Becoming Sober, Sane, Serene: My Quest for Recovery with the help of Therapy, The Twelve Steps, and Catholicism

I went to sleep last night (Monday) at 7 and woke up around 11 pm eager to get started on my new writing project. I brewed some coffee and started reading my journals. Suddenly waves of sorrow hit me. Grief over all my losses. I decided to focus on just the past 2+ years in recovery. 777 days and counting. Something heavenly about that number. Consulting with my friend Craig Willers, I decided to turn to prayer. The writing process can be arduous. Ernest Hemingway once said, “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” I know this to be true from previous writing projects, and I also know the value of having a team of prayer warriors diligently lifting me up as I battle the powers and principalities that seek to discourage me. Craig agreed to be a member of my [...]

Becoming Sober, Sane, Serene: My Quest for Recovery with the help of Therapy, The Twelve Steps, and Catholicismtonyroberts2026-10-06T01:54:36-04:00

Wendell Berry Is Dead. Long Live Wendell Berry.

"Kentucky writer and conservationist Wendell Berry once wrote: “Beware the machinery of longevity. When a man’s life is over the decent thing is for him to die. The forest does not withhold itself from death.” A lover of forests, the farmer, author and former English professor died on Monday at his home in Port Royal, according to the New York Times and other media reports. He was 92." - Kentucky Lantern (August 31, 2026) Wendell Berry is dead Facebook tributes fill my feed Beside a President post Calling farms without data centers Backwards - impeding progress Wendell wrote that Impeded streams sing I feel the need to impede Not just feed - plant seeds As Wendell is laid to rest His spirit rises from the dead His community remembers him well His land is better from his care The Mad Farmer no longer labors It's time we pick up his [...]

Wendell Berry Is Dead. Long Live Wendell Berry.tonyroberts2026-09-01T02:45:24-04:00

Like a Fallen Ass: St. Bernardino of Siena on Prudence

"A sinner who repents learns to be prudent. He is like an ass that, once he has fallen in a spot, afterwards looks more carefully where he sets his foot..." "... See, you would never have learned what sin is unless you had tried it. 'In antiquis est prudentia.' In the old is prudence, and do you know why? Because they have experience. They have fallen often, and so they walk more gingerly. They think about how they had better set their feet. As they see death approaching, they thank God that they have time to turn to him. And they do not trust themselves not to fall, but always ask God to help them not to fall again." -- Saint Bernardino of Siena (1380-1444)

Like a Fallen Ass: St. Bernardino of Siena on Prudencetonyroberts2026-05-20T01:32:06-04:00

Delight in Disorder Dissolves, Spreads Hope to Troubled Minds

Sent to Treatment Advocacy Center (TAC), National Alliance on Mental Ilnness - NAMI Indiana, and National Shattering Silence Coalition, along with a financial donation of $1,239.84 (each) — On behalf of Delight in Disorder Ministries, we would like to make this donation in appreciation for all you do for people often treated as "the least of these." These funds have been generated largely through sales of and donations towards our book Hope for Troubled Minds, edited by Tony Roberts. Katie R. Dale served as Associate Editor. Over 100 collaborators, many of whom support your organization, poured out their hearts sharing how Serious Mental Illness impacts their lives and the lives of their loved ones. The book is still in print but sales have stagnated and we no longer have the bandwidth to manage it. The legacy lives on and we are delighted to contribute to your mission. — Tony Roberts [...]

Delight in Disorder Dissolves, Spreads Hope to Troubled Mindstonyroberts2026-05-12T13:33:14-04:00

Continual Conversion: St. Augustine and Me

"Conquer yourself and the world lies at your feet." St Augustine of Hippo. Like Augustine, I squandered God's gifts throughout the days of my youth in riotous living. Only by the grace of God was I able to survive and function with relative effectiveness. Were it not for God's sufficient grace, my behavior would have led to an early grave. But also like Augustine, I had people praying for me. My mother, Patsy, was like Saint Monica, refusing to give me over to forces within and around me that tried to steal my soul. In time, I came to my senses. God set me straight and I began the long journey home. I have turned away from addictive behavior and devote each day to continual conversion. Taking one step at a time, living day by day, I focus not on gratifying my own cravings but loving God and others, even [...]

Continual Conversion: St. Augustine and Metonyroberts2026-05-05T06:45:51-04:00

A Check Up From the Neck Up

It's 3 o'clock in the morning. I am listening to the Beatles while eating baked oatmeal and drinking raw milk. I am wide awake as the world sleeps. What better time than now to do an assessment of my mental health and update on Delight in Disorder Ministries? After our successful Spring/Summer Hope for Troubled Minds book tours, I returned to my Tiny House on the family farm in Upstate New York rather depleted of psychological and physical energy. I had scheduled a Sabbath rest from public speaking for the month of July. A good friend encouraged me to consider applying to present at the NAMI NY state convention in November. The application deadline was August 1. As the deadline approached, I found myself stymied by the application, almost emotionally paralyzed. I received much encouragement from friends and family. In the end, I decided to take a hiatus from [...]

A Check Up From the Neck Uptonyroberts2024-09-12T11:13:35-04:00

Head-over-Healed (and a little Jesus Crazy) by Katie R. Dale

Head-over-Healed (and a Little Jesus- Crazy) Katie R. Dale Cured from chronic crazy? By no means cured. But healed, yes. By grace, I am ever grateful for the psychiatric medications that I take on the daily. Just the other morning I perused through my old medical records from hospitalizations at 16 and 24. The zany, fanatic, maniacal ways my mind could work! I can't even read my handwriting from back then in the black and white composition notebooks I kept. Most of the manic psychosis hijacked this ability to clearly pen my thoughts, and I stand amazed at the obvious (to me now) absurdity where my mind went. It was like I had been abducted and someone else was living in my body and brain…not far from what I believed happened while in that state of mind. Suffice to say, that person no longer exists. And I am so [...]

Head-over-Healed (and a little Jesus Crazy) by Katie R. Daletonyroberts2024-09-12T11:14:10-04:00