O Lord, God of my salvation; I cry out day and night before you.  (Psalm 88:1)   I'm finding it difficult to breathe right now. My chest constricts. My heart aches. My gut churns. Tears are welling up inside me. I'm near collapse. What is happening? I am under attack both within and beyond. Wave after wave of enemies envelop me. Overwhelm me. Cut me off from the Breath of life. I believe; I also have doubts. Not about God, but about myself. Why would God pay attention to me? What if God wants to teach me a lesson by losing? I'm clenching my fist to a thread of hope as the waves crash around me. I see no raft, no rescue ship -- only the mist at sea. Where is this coming from? I have a marvelous life... A wonderful wife. A loyal dog. A loving family. Faithful friends. [...]