tonyroberts, Author at Delight in Disorder

Thus Sayeth the Lord: How Can I Hear God’s True Voice?

Sharon Rawlette, one of my regular readers posed a fascinating question that has inspired this post. In essence, she asks, how can we discriminate between “true” voice of God from “false”ones? This question gets to the heart of how God speaks to us as well as how the Enemy tries to keep us from hearing. First, look at what it says in Hebrews: “Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed to be heir of all things, through whom also he created the world.” (Hebrews 1:1-2) Jesus is the Word of God spoken at creation, made flesh in his miraculous birth, demonstrated in his compassionate ministry, redeemed in his sacrificial death, enlivened by his resurrection, and delegated to the Holy Spirit after Christ's ascension. [...]

Thus Sayeth the Lord: How Can I Hear God’s True Voice?tonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:14-04:00

Devoted to the Word with Mental Illness: Susan Irene Fox

The mission of Delight in Disorder is to share the hope of Christ with persons who have troubled minds, and to shatter stigma towards mental illness within and beyond the church. One of the best ways I know to do this is to tell our stories. Susan Irene Fox describes herself as a “Jesus follower, peacemaker, unfinished human.” She recently celebrated her ten year anniversary “since I walked into the embrace of my Father’s arms.” Me: How did you mark your ten-year anniversary? Susan: I looked back at some things that occurred right after I accepted Jesus. One of the biggest things was six months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was almost as though the devil had been lurking for an opportune time to tempt me into forsaking God. But I never went there, never even went into fear. I just knew God was holding my hand [...]

Devoted to the Word with Mental Illness: Susan Irene Foxtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:14-04:00

Leaving Affinity

Six days ago, I checked into Affinity Place, a peer-run mental health respite/retreat house. Tonight is my last night. Looking back over the week, I'm reflecting on how the Spirit has moved in this ministry of Affinity. I can think of three specific ways: First, the Lord has provided refuge for me. I had reached a critical juncture of mental instability alone at home. I was particularly vulnerable during the nights I couldn't sleep. Here at Affinity, a staff person is on site 24/7. When my sleep was disturbed, I simply came downstairs and talked about it with someone who knew first-hand what I was going through. Next, I have renewed my commitment to valuable spiritual disciplines, particularly morning Scripture reading and prayer. At home, I had become lax in these practices. I was not starting my day talking to and listening for the Lord. While at Affinity Place, God [...]

Leaving Affinitytonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:14-04:00

Good Friday: Life at Affinity Place

Good Friday. The day Christians around the world mark the death of the One equal with God, who died a horrific death on a cross so we might live with him forever. John Witvilet says this about the day: "Making peace through the blood of his cross" is like saying that a nuclear missile has become an olive-branch, that Guantanamo has become a garden of healing, that a sword has been turned into a plowshare, that a tank has been turned into a tractor. The very thought of it leaves us weak in the knees with astonishment. ("A Crescendo of Wonder," Christianity Today) Good Friday is only good because of what happens on Easter. Death is swallowed up in victory. Christ who died becomes Christ who is Risen so he can be Christ who comes again. I'm not attending a Good Friday service this year. I planned to, but evidently [...]

Good Friday: Life at Affinity Placetonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:37-04:00

The Cost of the Cross, Much More than a Free Smiley Face

The symbol of Christianity is a cross, not a smiley face. I write this on the Tuesday of Holy Week, the week we remember the final earthly mission of Jesus Christ, culminating in his sacrificial death and glorious resurrection. When I was a pastor, I would silently refer to this as “Holy Hell Week.” I was expected to do four times as much ministry and all with a cheerful demeanor. It was only by the grace of God that I did, at least to the degree that I did. Easter, of course, was designed to be the spiritual peak, the week you could reach many more folks than the rest of the year. People came to hear the Good News that “Christ is Risen, He is Risen Indeed.” Because Christ is risen, we have the hope of new life in Christ. Very few from the Easter crowd had come to [...]

The Cost of the Cross, Much More than a Free Smiley Facetonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:38-04:00

Praying for Caleb

For 13 years, he was the life of the party, greeting everyone in church, directing praise, sharing a smile or loving touch with those who needed it most. Suddenly, 3 years ago, he developed a mysterious condition that has baffled even the top specialist at Johns Hopkins. He became nearly catatonic and has regressed to the point that all he can do on his own is eat. Recently, we consulted an ear, nose, and throat specialist who found Caleb's lingual tonsils are restricting oxygen to Caleb's brain. Surgery is scheduled today. I am praying for complete miraculous healing for Caleb, to the glory of God. Second, I pray that whatever lies ahead, we witness to the spiritual healing of Christ. Please pray and invite other prayer warriors to do so. Call upon the One who alone heals us and makes us whole. #PrayingForCaleb. Update: Caleb's surgery is complete. The doctor [...]

Praying for Calebtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:38-04:00

A Child Is Born: March 28, 1992

There was a shift change when you entered the world. A cheering crowd of scrub-clad women there to see your red raisin skin, hear you cry out at the shocking light and cold air, and breathe in the fresh scent of new life. Your life. I was 25 at the time, the same age you are today. Unlike you, however, I was ill equipped to become a parent. I was less than a year into my career as a pastor, working hard in a field that was hardly working out. I had become tangled in a web of depression. Your mother and I were already seeing a therapist for deeply-entrenched issues from our not yet three years together. Not only did I not feel equipped to become a father, I still had doubts about bringing a child into the world, wicked as it was. I was still somewhat under the [...]

A Child Is Born: March 28, 1992tonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:38-04:00

Gentle Rejoicing Revisited

It seems I've found a medication cocktail that wipes out my mixed states. It also wipes me out. I have no energy to concentrate, much less create something meaningful and inspiring. I am doing what I can -- getting out of bed, taking meds on time, going for walks, drinking plenty of water. I still want to add a disciplined diet to my regiment. In the meanwhile, I will keep pressing on with the hope that soon I will be better. I am celebrating the small victories that come along the way. I got up this morning at 5:30 am, drank a protein smoothie, took meds at 6 am, then went for a walk with Briley and Susan. This wiped me out and fell asleep in my chair for 4 hours. Then, I got up and went to the Verizon store to get their help installing my new phone. I [...]

Gentle Rejoicing Revisitedtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:38-04:00

Far From Alone

As I write this, I am on the heels of a depressive episode that has threatened to kick my legs out from under me. For almost a week, I've been holed up my apartment; sleeping, watching television, staring at the computer screen. Menacing voices scream inside my head even as I hit the letters on my keyboard, yelling that I am an impostor, that I have nothing to say that people would want to hear. At times like these, the fact that God delights in me is far removed from my thoughts and feelings. Instead my thoughts are filled with things I've done wrong, my feelings are dominated by regret and shame. I sleep and sleep and sleep some more, but even my dreams are distorted by fears that I am unlovable, that I am alone in a pit of despair, far from delight. But I'm not alone. I know [...]

Far From Alonetonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:38-04:00

Escape from Death

Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death. (Psalm 68:20) In the years since my suicide attempt I’ve had a great deal of time to reflect on its meaning and the purpose of my life then and now. At times, I’ve described it as a one-time fluke. I had never before nor have I since been seriously suicidal. But the attempt was more than a fluke. It was an attack. It was a spiritual attack from an enemy who wants nothing more than to get God’s children to give up. It was an attack for which I was ill-prepared despite decades of study and devotion. It was an attack I pray never comes again though I know it could. I know I need to be devotionally disciplined on a daily basis in case I am attacked again. The most important part of the [...]

Escape from Deathtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:38-04:00

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