family

Running from the bipolar that runs in me.

One of my readers recently contacted me with a heart-wrenching life story. As much as I wanted her words to be unique to this one family, I was trapped by just how much they applied to me and so many other persons with bipolar disorder: "... my husband was diagnosed with bipolar four years ago, and was on medication. However, he decided to stop last summer (unbeknownst to anyone) and then, in the midst of a manic phase, left me and our family in November. He still professes Christ, but has filed for divorce and has accumulated $40,000 in debt. I have struggled with trusting him and anything he says, as you can imagine. Yet here, I see you are a man of faith, and some of the same issues have taken place in your life. As it stands now, this is in God's hands. God has been good [...]

Running from the bipolar that runs in me.tonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:03-04:00

He Was in Heaven Before He Died

I wrote this story about a decade ago. It is not based solely on facts. I did have a Grandpa George and this was pretty much how he lived and died. But I didn't make it to the funeral. Instead, I was in a hellish heaven of my own on the psych unit of Columbia Presbyterian. I got the call late at night that Grandpa George had died. He had lived a hard life. He didn't have the opportunity to get a good education. He never learned to read or write because his demanding father made him quit school to help in the fields. He worked hard to get by and managed to scrape together a living. He met a woman - Maize - at the tomato factory where he worked. She says he was throwing tomatoes at her, so she knew he liked her. They were married [...]

He Was in Heaven Before He Diedtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:07-04:00

Joy in the High, Peace in the Low, and Love In-Between

It has been a long and winding week. I have traveled over 1500 miles. Eaten a Magic Mushroom Panini at a Beatles-inspired cafe. Spent way too much money on luxury hotels. Played Yahtzee with my son and dominoes with my daughter. Received a generous portion of hugs from a little girl and little boy who have won my heart. Learned why a ram wears a belt with a crayon hanging down. Any guesses? Overall, it has been perhaps the most fantastic, glorious, delightful week of my life. So what's next? I know myself well enough to know I can't keep the pace up. The higher I climb, the lower I fall. I have experienced this far too often such that I have come to expect it as a norm. But what if I have a new norm? What if I can experience highs and then level off to a peaceful [...]

Joy in the High, Peace in the Low, and Love In-Betweentonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:09-04:00

Granny Told Me His Name: Lee Ann Leach

It was just about two weeks ago that I found out that others didn’t hear noises in their heads like I do. I have had them all my life. Normal sounds. A car door slamming. A bell ringing. A buzzing sound. Someone saying my name. A ping. This is just one symptom of my mental illness. Right from the start the nurses in the nursery in the hospital where I was born immediately noticed that I was the “most nervous baby” they all had ever seen. Alberta Baptist Church, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, 1971. There was a great pouring out of the Spirit in the area at the time and there were revivals going on all over town. Embry Williams was preaching at a week night revival at Alberta Baptist Church. I don’t remember the sermon or what really happened that night, but I do know that I walked down and [...]

Granny Told Me His Name: Lee Ann Leachtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:10-04:00

Examining Medical Science; Observing Faith Practice

{Note: This post was first published in June of 2017. The events described convinced me I could no longer live alone without assistance. I'm publishing this today (March 18, 2018). Later this week, I'll share one that reflects how far I've come.} I spent last weekend in an Emergency Observation Bed (EOB) of a local hospital. I was allowed to wear my sweats and slippers (I came prepared), as well as read my Bible and write in my cloth-bound journal. Note to self: Get a sturdy pocket sized Bible instead of my 8-inch thick parallel one. One guy on the unit asked me if I was going to beat him up with it. What brought me there? I wasn’t exactly a threat to myself or to others, but I did feel I was on the verge of losing control. As I told my psychiatrist, I didn’t feel desperate, but [...]

Examining Medical Science; Observing Faith Practicetonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:10-04:00