creativity – Delight in Disorder

The Relationship Between Creativity and Mental Illness

I start this post with one basic assumption. Not all persons with mental illness are creative. Some sit around all day playing video solitaire, watching episodes of Judge Judy, counting the cars that pass by. Some persons with mental illness have neither the desire or the capacity (or both) to do anything that resembles creative expression. (Though you never know the depths of creativity lodged in their brains.) At the same time, I find my mental illness plays out in a creative way, primarily in my way with words. I'm not Hemingway. It's not quality, but quantity for me. Most of my waking and sleeping hours are spent plotting how I can use my words to the best effect. When I am under unusual amounts of stress, you will likely find me tucked away in a corner, Pilot G-2 gel pen gliding across a composition journal, describing the world as [...]

The Relationship Between Creativity and Mental Illnesstonyroberts2021-10-06T05:30:37-04:00

The Bittersweet Blessing of Bipolar Revisited

The past three weeks I've been enjoying the blessing of bipolar. By this I mean I've been full of energy and positivity. I've been creative and very productive. What has been different in this manic binge is that I am still engaging in some self-care through prayer, diet, and sleep. I wouldn't say I've been perfectly balanced, but I'm making progress. I know this won't last. In fact, I have slept 20 out of the last 24 hours. My emotions are on edge. I snapped at my wife over a perceived slight that was anything but. This is the part I hate about my illness, but I still appreciate what it has given me. I say this realizing some experience more extreme symptoms and don't felt any redemption in their suffering. I grieve for this. This isn't my story. I find a bittersweet blessing in bipolar. This is what I [...]

The Bittersweet Blessing of Bipolar Revisitedtonyroberts2020-10-22T21:27:07-04:00

Giving Thanks for My Illness

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5.16-18) “While she might not have opted for this illness, neither does she entirely regret it; she prefers, as she writes so movingly, a life of passionate turbulence to one of tedious calm.” ― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness. This Thanksgiving I am grateful for many things. I'll name five: Food to eat. A roof above my head. Family members who care for me. Faithful friends who make me laugh. And my mental illness. Yes, I am grateful for my mental illness. I have come to prefer the "passionate turbulence" of bipolar disorder to the "tedious calm" of being "normal". This is not to say I enjoy all aspects of my illness. Sometimes it is a pain in the ass. Sometimes [...]

Giving Thanks for My Illnesstonyroberts2017-11-24T14:48:35-05:00

Revealing Voices: The Voices Begin

Wednesday night (11/8), my good friend and pending podcast co-host came over. The podcast will be called "Revealing Voices: The Mental Health podcast raising unanswered questions, sharing unanswered prayers." It is an extension of our mission here at Delight in Disorder. Our goal is to produce 20 episodes each year filled with news, views, reviews, and interviews about the relationship between faith and mental illness. Eric and I will share our own experiences as followers of Christ who both have bipolar disorder. We met in my basement studio (now dubbed "Revealing Voices World Headquarters.") Eric brought a Chik Fil A Southwestern salad topped with fried crinkly things and pistachios. I nursed the last of my dark roast Green Mountain Magic Espresso. It was 8:30 pm and the next 2 1/2 hours were filled with creative dialogue, respectful debate, and healing laughter. Much laughter. We discussed many things. What other [...]

Revealing Voices: The Voices Begintonyroberts2017-11-20T15:56:33-05:00