I’ve been putting myself under a lot of stress lately. I say putting myself because really I have many, many good things going on. I am happily married, live in a comfortable home in a nice neighborhood, have plenty of friends and family who care about me, and spend my time pursuing a meaningful vocation with my loyal lab Briley by my side. So why am I stressed? Do I need a reason?

It occurred to me some time ago that as one with bipolar disorder, not only am a more vulnerable to stress, but because others are more stressed relating to me. Not because of who I am, but because of what my illness does.

If you love someone with a brain illness, what do you think?
If you have a brain illness, do you accept this?

For today’s post, I thought I’d share a humorous piece I wrote sometime ago about being in a relationship with someone who has bipolar. It is purely fictional, of course. Resemblance to any actual figure is not intended, but can easily be figured out.

So you want to marry someone who has bipolar?

You may want to reconsider if he…

… follows you around the mall telling you how ridiculous you are for wanting to have a career as an at-home mom.

… refuses to leave your apartment until he has beaten you in more computer hangman games than you have beaten him.

… tells you to pretend you don’t know each other at the campus picnic so people won’t know you are a couple.

… proposes to you in bed by saying, “You don’t really want to get married do you?”

… jumps out of your moving car because you can’t agree whether to have plants or flowers at your wedding.


Then again, you may appreciate that he…

… sneaks into your apartment while you are at work, puts on “I Will” by the Beatles, grabs you as you enter and dances with you in his own goofy way.

… composes a poem for you and publishes it in his campus-wide newsletter.

… shows up at your door at 3 a.m. with freshly baked blueberry Amish bread. With walnuts.

… gives you a mix tape of songs that remind him of you, songs he loves and wants to share this love with you.

… cries with you when you tell him about your childhood, holds you through the night and hums a lullaby to help you sleep.


So you want to marry someone who has bipolar?


You may want to reconsider if you need someone who is…

… consistently stable.

… dispassionately objective.

… modestly understated.


Then again, he may be…

… lavishly affectionate.

… passionately engaged.

… tenderly empathetic.


“And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Mostly Sally