Angie Collier is a teacher and NAMI volunteer. She quit her full time job in order to be more available to her son. She currently works as a reading specialist online.
Dear Jacob,
I loved you from the start. Your bright red hair, chubby cheeks and the last of my 3 children. Your brother and sister adored you – holding you, telling you stories, reading to you. You loved lining your Hot Wheels from your bedroom to the living room. You quickly learned to read and you have an incredible vocabulary.
At 8 you started hearing voices. We took you to a doctor who put you on medicine, but your depression plunged. In Middle School, you started drugs to self-medicate and later alcohol. At 15 you were diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder.
The voices, paranoia, seeing things and violence has been too much to endure, but my love for you has not stopped. You hit the walls causing holes and break my dishes, but then you apologize and my heart melts. You can dance and tell jokes that draws me in. I love to hear you tell me the latest thing you heard on a movie or documentary. I love you more than you will ever know.
I cry for your life being taken away by this terrible disease. At 26 we can’t get you stabilized because of your drug use. When you are unstable, we are afraid. I want so much for you. I pray that when you are stable, you will do what you need to do to remain stable.
You are such an important part of my life.
Love you forever,
Mom
