Nancy Boucher is the ninth of thirteen children born into a first generation Italian American family. The importance and value of family has been an enduring force in her life. She taught special education for 24 years in public schools, starting programs for children with behavioral challenges. Her responsibilities included screening, observation, and evaluation; developing and implementing goals with students; consulting with teachers, administrators, and parents; and providing in-service assistance to staff. She loved my job, and was always attentive to and thankful to each of her students who taught her how to become a better teacher. She is well aware of the challenges facing families and their children when dealing with a serious condition, not yet totally understood.
Twenty four years ago her youngest son got sick with a serious mental illness and her family’s life as they knew it veered off course. They were catapulted into a wilderness that they were not equipped to navigate. There they landed bereft with anguish and helplessness about how to support their son who was so sick and how to support their family who was falling apart. Nancy retired from teaching 4 years early, and became a student again – seeking to learn what might help ease the suffering for all of us in our family. It has been an arduous journey.
Today she is a dedicated advocate and works to highlight the importance of a combined treatment approach that focuses on strengthening the person as well as on treating the illness. She has written three books about her family’s experiences and learning in an effort to reach out to others on this path- to lessen isolation and prejudice, and to share both pragmatic tools and hope. Both of her sons have contributed to these three books: Getting My Night Vision Replanting Lives Uprooted by Mental Illness, a practical guide for families; Defusing the Mental Illness Crisis Triangle; Safety Procedures for Families to Follow During Crises at Home.
Her husband Richard has become her north star when she is losing her way. Her community advocacy work over the past 25 years has included being a family speaker for Voices of Recovery of Portland, Maine -speaking at new staff orientations at Riverview State Hospital and Spring Harbor, and at, colleges -, participating both nationally and locally in NAMI , speaking at Nami Maine CIT trainings, being a family member on a regional CIT council,being a presenter at two family support organizations in Massachusetts , and being the 2019 keynote speaker at Nami State convention in Kentucky.
Nancy writes:
This is a prayer that I wrote for our son, and try to pass along to other families…it is in the beginning of my second book, Replanting Lives Uprooted by Mental Illness, a Practical Guide for Families ( the cover is one of my son’s poignant drawings that he labeled and called “earth wrecker”)
a prayer
today
may your suffering be blanketed with your family’s love
you are not alone
your family walks in love beside you
even when you do not see
your voice
your song
weak or strong
it does not matter
I waited until the sky was
perfect blue with billowy clouds
then plucked a cloud just right for you
to rest upon
I waited for a summer breeze
then caught it in my breath to blow into the space that surrounds you
we all saw a storm approaching
we joined hands to hold it back
you are not alone
your family walks in love beside you
even when you do not see
I grew some flowers filled with sweet scent
picked the blooms when they came
then wove them into a cocoon to give you time to recover
your father cooked all day with love and made an amazing meal
to nourish you
take our hands
we will not bite
courage of heart will let you see
that we have always been here
with you
we made a balm from plants we grew
may it soothe your troubled brow
today
may your suffering be blanketed with your family’s love
you are not alone
we are here beside you
even when you do not see
your voice
your song
weak or strong
it does not matter
