Head-over-Healed (and a Little Jesus- Crazy)
Katie R. Dale
Cured from chronic crazy? By no means cured. But healed, yes.
By grace, I am ever grateful for the psychiatric medications that I take on the daily. Just the other morning I perused through my old medical records from hospitalizations at 16 and 24. The zany, fanatic, maniacal ways my mind could work! I can’t even read my handwriting from back then in the black and white composition notebooks I kept. Most of the manic psychosis hijacked this ability to clearly pen my thoughts, and I stand amazed at the obvious (to me now) absurdity where my mind went. It was like I had been abducted and someone else was living in my body and brain…not far from what I believed happened while in that state of mind. Suffice to say, that person no longer exists. And I am so glad.
As years (12 and 20 of them) passed…that frightened little girl grew up. I didn’t get stronger–not really. I was always strong in heart. The episodes just chipped away to reveal my strength. Wittiness, intelligence? I might have traces of that still. It used to be a bit more obvious…I’ve since slowed down (a result of the psychotropics, maybe?). But I don’t take that as a negative. I take it as a huge blessing and advantage to be able to help me be slow to speak, slow to anger. As long as I take that extra time to pay attention and pray the solution or next step, it’s a huge benefit.
Nowadays, I make it my aim to hear from God in the early morning hours. I may be crazy in that regard…but I doubt it. The strength that empowered me to face manic psychosis and suicidal ideations in my past was drawn from my faith in God. He heard me, hears me, saw what I saw, and sees me. I’m proposing it’s not crazy to hear from God. God speaks to my heart, and that’s a totally different wavelength than psychosis. Trust me, having been there and done that, it’s quite the sound mind. After all, “God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
But, you may be wondering how I could have had hallucinations and delusions, and still claim to hear from God.
I might remind you, it’s the pure in heart that see God (Matthew 5:8). It’s the softened heart that hears from his Spirit (Hebrews 4:7). I use protocol outlined in Habakuk 2:1-2 in the Bible as charted by Mark Virkler. Everyday, after drinking my coffee and washing down my pills with it, I have a quiet time where I hear from God…
It’s not a one way (manic or otherwise) monologue anymore. It’s summarized in 4 keys:
1. Be still before the Lord, turning off distractions and entering into a peaceful state
2. Envision Jesus with you. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten the eyes of your heart to use godly imagination.
3. Tune to spontaneous flow of thoughts, feelings, impressions in your heart that bubble up.
4. Document your journey and dialogue with Jesus and his Spirit.
In this way, you’re opening up to being spoken to. All you have to do is, ask, seek, and knock. The flow is reflective of the character of God, and if it aligns with Scripture, you can check it out. For more on two-way prayer journaling, see https://www.cwgministries.org/Four-Keys-to-Hearing-Gods-Voice
Talking with Jesus and hearing back from him on the largest to smallest matters is a mind-blowing experience. It’s taken me from confusion and doubts whether I could actually hear from God, to a powerful real-ationship with him. And I’m no longer certifiably crazy in my mind. I’m now crazy in love with Jesus in my heart. Faith is no longer bound to blind reason. Faith is now awakened in my heart to see the unseen.
It’s kind of crazy, but healing has arrived on another reality, the reality of God residing in my heart. Do you want to get real with God too? Test him and see for yourself.
Bio:
Katie is a voice of faith and reason, reconciling these within the roles of author, artist, and advocate. Dale advocates for the power found in the God who heals despite life’s brokenness. Dale has overcome many losses including her sanity and her firstborn’s passing. Her passion is to communicate dynamic insight to enlighten, and she invites others to discover and develop their “real-ationship” with Christ. She’s married to her hero in uniform, Chris, and is a mom to Jaxon in heaven and Kylie on earth, residing wherever the US Air Force takes them – currently Germany. Find her online at KatieRDale.com and social mania @katierdale.
