Spiritual Reflections

Choosing Life Over Death

I've been asked to share my story with a youth group next week. Like many teens, they are facing intense issues. More than just what sport to play, who to ask out on a date, what college to choose. No, much more than this, they are asking life and death questions like: how can I cope with this pain, who can I turn to for help, why live. When I was in high school, I had much to live for, or so it seemed. I was a top scholar-athlete. I was in theater, student government, publications. One would think I didn't have a care in the world. But inside I was festering with despair. At high school, I read a poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson called, "Richard Cory." It begins, Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole [...]

Choosing Life Over Deathtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:06-04:00

Ironic Iconoclasm: Healthy, Holy Humor

Some time ago, I was asked this question: In two words or less, how would you describe your sense of humor? The first two words that came to my mind were - "Ironic Iconoclasm". Then I wondered, "What does that mean?" This post is my effort to answer that question. First, irony comes in various forms. I like how this on-line dictionary defines one aspect of irony - a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other's false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning —called also Socratic irony. I've learned this form of irony not so much from the classic Greek philosopher Socrates as from my self-proclaimed Kentuckian father Veston. When Dad wants to catch someone off-guard with a thought provoking question, he begins with - Now, I only have a sixth-grade education, so you'll have to help me understand this... Dad is actually [...]

Ironic Iconoclasm: Healthy, Holy Humortonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:06-04:00

Careless or Carefree Speech?

With [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. (James 3.9) Each time I sit down before a keyboard and stare at a blank screen, I say a quiet prayer that my words glorify God and encourage God's people. There is so much hate speech in the world today. I count it my ministry to say something not only truthful, but uplifting. Speak the truth in love, as Paul writes in Ephesians. When we do, we make a tremendous impact on those who hear us, many of whom have been beaten down for years with messages that they are no good, that what they do is not worthy, that they will never measure up, that they are not loved. I had a high school tennis coach who knew the power of encouraging speech. He knew next to [...]

Careless or Carefree Speech?tonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:06-04:00

He Was in Heaven Before He Died

I wrote this story about a decade ago. It is not based solely on facts. I did have a Grandpa George and this was pretty much how he lived and died. But I didn't make it to the funeral. Instead, I was in a hellish heaven of my own on the psych unit of Columbia Presbyterian. I got the call late at night that Grandpa George had died. He had lived a hard life. He didn't have the opportunity to get a good education. He never learned to read or write because his demanding father made him quit school to help in the fields. He worked hard to get by and managed to scrape together a living. He met a woman - Maize - at the tomato factory where he worked. She says he was throwing tomatoes at her, so she knew he liked her. They were married [...]

He Was in Heaven Before He Diedtonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:07-04:00

Who Are You?

I am a Christian who has bipolar disorder. I cycle from extreme mania to pits of depression, but I am not a manic-depressive. My identity is not in my illness. My identity is in Christ. Where do you find your identity? This morning my pastor shared a story of a teenage girl who had lost a sense of her she was. Like many her age, she had looked for her identity in relationships with others just as lost as she was. Her self-worth plummeted. Whatever confidence she once had crashed to the ground. She desperately needed someone to pick her up, someone to share with her the hope that was rooted in her faith. Not just some wish for better days, but a genuine hope that would hold onto her when she fell. Somehow, she found her way to the pastor's study. He sat quietly with her. Listened to her. [...]

Who Are You?tonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:07-04:00

Van Gogh & Our Vocations

On July 2, 2018, I published the following post entitled "Van Gogh & Me: Pursuing Our Vocations." My friend Mark Rockwell shared it on his Facebook page with this comment: Interesting topic that I'd love to hear from friends of mine in the visual, musical, and word art worlds. Can you imagine pouring yourself out in art, relative to your spiritual life, and not making a penny from it, but, instead, depending upon the support of just a few? Would you be able to sustain your production of art without the affirmation of the public during your lifetime? Is there a border between the art that you create out of need, as a release valve, and the art that you make public and hope that others will see/consider/purchase? Is there art that you create purely for the glory of God or as a natural fruit of your relationship with Him? [...]

Van Gogh & Our Vocationstonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:07-04:00

Dealing with Suicide

I'm doing an interview with Brainstorms tomorrow. Brainstorms is a radio show hosted by Megan Malfi on Hamilton Radio focusing mostly on mental health and mental disabilities or disorders. On Brainstorms they are always striving to learn more about different mental disorders, how they can help others stay mentally healthy, and how to cope with mental illness in ourselves or a loved one. "Whether we’re talking about things we love that make us happy or things that give us stress, our goal is always to convey the message that YOU HAVE VALUE." Megan and I have been communicating for about a month on how we can be mutually supportive in our ministries. She very graciously offered to take the first step and invite me on her program. As a diligent host, she has since read Delight in Disorder and has asked very soul-searching questions. One is this -- A lot of [...]

Dealing with Suicidetonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:07-04:00

Flight Risk

July 9, 2018, 6:30 a.m. Indianapolis airport... I sit in a cafe sipping mediocre coffee to cap off a $20 breakfast. It’s a price I’m willing to pay for the peace of mind to be at the gate several hours early to collect myself. December, 1983 to Kansas City... I become jazzed for Jesus at a New Year's Eve prayer party sponsored by Campus Crusade for Christ. I return and discover all my possessions had been taken from my apartment. I spend the night at a local IHOP, witnessing to the waitress. For a tip, I leave two quarters and a tract, all I have left to give. March, 1988 to Boston... I visit a woman I met on a mission farm in Georgia. I spend the days reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X and the nights belittling her for being an upper-class liberal. October, 1992 to San Francisco... I travel [...]

Flight Risktonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:07-04:00

The Exuberant Life

It is a curious request to make of God. Shield your joyous ones, asks the Anglican prayer: Shield your joyous ones. ~ Kay Redfield Jamison, Exuberance: The Passion for Life. I stayed up reading poetry one night.* And the next day. And into the next night. And the following day. A poetry marathon. And the more I read the more enthused I became. Each poem put a longing in me to read the next. I felt so alive. My skin tingled. Pathways to my brain that had been blocked for almost 25 years were cleared. A lightning bug floated in the air around me, dancing with the illumined sparks on the screen that spoke inspired words to me. The next day a friend asked me, "Are you manic?" Maybe, I thought. Or maybe I'm just excited. Enthused. On fire with life. Staying up all night, and the next day, can [...]

The Exuberant Lifetonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:08-04:00

John Prine: From Mailman to Americana Icon

Last Friday I went to a John Prine concert at the Louisville Palace with my friend Les Rust (see "A Character in the Making"). My history with Prine goes back to a PBS documentary on him I saw in December, 1982. Les goes back further. He saw John in a Louisianna dive not much bigger than the Skyline Diner where we had our pre-concert meal. Prine is now 72. He has survived two bouts of oral cancer. His voice sounds more like the grinding gears of semi than a virtuoso. But his lyrics speak God-given redemption to the human condition. John took his young son to one of his concerts and asked him what he thought. It's okay Dad, but it's not real. Not like baseball. That's real. I beg to differ with a Prine heir, but let me tell you. His music is real. A whole genre of musicians look [...]

John Prine: From Mailman to Americana Icontonyroberts2024-08-26T13:04:08-04:00