Living Prepared to Die

A friend of mine, who also has bipolar, was in an auto accident when she was in college. She was taken to the emergency room where she had an x-ray and cat-scan. Neither showed any physical damage. She called her resident adviser to come to the hospital to pick her up. By the time he got there, she was livid with the staff, crying out to anyone who would listen, and many who wouldn't, that she was paralyzed. Three doctors and several nurses examined her and found nothing physically wrong. As the night wore on, however, she became hysterical. She said she had a massive inflammation in her spine. She was admitted to a medical-behavioral unit where she was diagnosed as having an acute manic episode. She was given psychotropics. They also performed an MRI and found a mass in her lower spine.  Another cat-scan also revealed a mass in [...]

Living Prepared to Die2024-08-26T13:04:12-04:00

Revealing Voices: The Voices Begin

Wednesday night (11/8), my good friend and pending podcast co-host came over. The podcast will be called "Revealing Voices: The Mental Health podcast raising unanswered questions, sharing unanswered prayers." It is an extension of our mission here at Delight in Disorder. Our goal is to produce 20 episodes each year filled with news, views, reviews, and interviews about the relationship between faith and mental illness. Eric and I will share our own experiences as followers of Christ who both have bipolar disorder. We met in my basement studio (now dubbed "Revealing Voices World Headquarters.") Eric brought a Chik Fil A Southwestern salad topped with fried crinkly things and pistachios. I nursed the last of my dark roast Green Mountain Magic Espresso. It was 8:30 pm and the next 2 1/2 hours were filled with creative dialogue, respectful debate, and healing laughter. Much laughter. We discussed many things. What other [...]

Revealing Voices: The Voices Begin2024-08-26T13:04:12-04:00

What’s Next? Revealing Voices

I've been almost maniacally exuberant about a project that is a natural extension of our Delight in Disorder mission. I want to share it with you. But first, a story... In January of 2013, I had fallen into a deep depression. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time it happened when I was living alone.  I had moved from Rochester, NY to Indianapolis, IN. Out of loneliness, I became involved in a toxic relationship. Within a few months, I broke it off. Now, I was alone in the dead of winter in a sterile apartment. I was miserable. My sister sensed it and encouraged me to move in with my family. I felt relieved. On the one hand, I thought it was pathetic for a 48-year old man to move back home. On the other hand, living alone was doing me in. So the other [...]

What’s Next? Revealing Voices2024-08-26T13:04:12-04:00

Does Suicide Destroy Faith?

I just received word today that a family member died by suicide. I didn't personally know this young man, but each time I hear of someone who has suffered greatly and lost hope for this life, I feel sick to my stomach. I didn't used to feel this way. I used to feel angry. I used to believe suicide was a terrible act of cruelty against one's self. I used to believe it was horribly selfish against one's loved ones. I used to believe it was an ultimate act of ingratitude against God. I used to believe this. No more. Suicide is not the unforgivable sin named in the Bible as "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit."  It is more a symptom of our human condition than a sinful action. It is far from a selfish act. Instead, it is more a desire to unburden loved ones of the suffering [...]

Does Suicide Destroy Faith?2024-08-26T13:04:12-04:00
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