tonyroberts, Author at Delight in Disorder

Gratitude for Passionate Turbulence

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5.16-18) “While she might not have opted for this illness, neither does she entirely regret it; she prefers, as she writes so movingly, a life of passionate turbulence to one of tedious calm.” ― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness. I am grateful for many things. I’ll name five: Food to eat. A roof above my head. Family members who care for me. Faithful friends who make me laugh. And my mental illness. Yes, I am grateful for my mental illness. I have come to prefer the “passionate turbulence” of bipolar disorder to the “tedious calm” of being “normal”. This is not to say I enjoy all aspects of my illness. Sometimes it is a pain in the ass. Sometimes it robs me of hope and challenges [...]

Gratitude for Passionate Turbulencetonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:35-04:00

The New Asylums: A Dialogue on Mental Illness Behind Bars

I have been aware of the prevalence of persons with mental illness who are incarcerated. I also know first-hand how quality in-patient psychiatric care has all but disappeared. Still, this chart portrays the crisis of mental health care in our nation. And, from the numbers I've seen, it's only getting worse. What follows is a dialogue that took place in perhaps the best Facebook groups I belong to: Advocates for People with Mental Illness. I wish these folks were in policy-making posts rather than the ones we currently have. J: Neither peak seems to be healthy, at least not long term. I wonder where the curve would be in a good system. D: The community health care system that was promised after institutions closed is a dignified response to caring for people who live with mental illness. Much cheaper than institutions and so much more effective and respectful. [...]

The New Asylums: A Dialogue on Mental Illness Behind Barstonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:35-04:00

My Pandemic Prayer Journal

I have been keeping an pandemic prayer journal. Like everything in my life, it is irregular. Intermittent. It comes in fits and starts. But as I look back over my Facebook posts the past several weeks since COVID-19 hit home, I have a good record of my life in quarantine. I want to share some of this with you: April 3, 2020 When Hope is Hard to Come By I was sitting on my back deck, listening to “Ode to Billie Joe” by Bobbie Gentry. It is one of the best country songs ever written. Certainly one of the saddest. My wife came out and asked why I was listening to such miserable music. I said something happens when you set suffering to song that gives purpose to pain, adds rhyme and reason to what seem like pointless periods in our lives. These are hard times and it is essential [...]

My Pandemic Prayer Journaltonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:35-04:00

A John Prine Primer: Music and Stories of a Modern Day Mark Twain

Grief is a complex thing. Contrary to popular opinion, we don't all go through grief in easily understood stages from denial to acceptance. Instead, there are as many ways to respond to loss as there are people who suffer loss. And, if we are blessed to live long enough, we all lose someone important to us. In a time such as ours, losses are becoming multiplied. On April 7, 2020 John Prine died. I did not know Prine personally but like many who heard his songs, I felt like I did. Not only did I feel like I knew John, but all the people he sang about, who represents the whole of the human race. On the night he died, I stayed up listening to his music and reflecting on his life. I want to share this experience with you. "I guess I just process death differently than some [...]

A John Prine Primer: Music and Stories of a Modern Day Mark Twaintonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:35-04:00

Hosanna in the Highest: Palm Sunday Perspectives

As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, 2 saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. 3 If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.” 4 This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet: 5 “Say to Daughter Zion, ‘See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’” 6 The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. 7 They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. 8 A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. 9 The crowds that went [...]

Hosanna in the Highest: Palm Sunday Perspectivestonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:36-04:00

Coping with Coronavirus

I am a retired pastor and missionary. I am 65 and have bad Asthma. If I catch Corona Virus survival is poor. Doctors are choosing who lives and dies for we very short on respirators. I wonder if I should minister to sick and call it a day. I am seriously contemplating it. As death rates increase I will go back out. I am a hospice pastor and involved with Homeland. I am a widower and family gone. I, of few, can do it. ~ B.R. I'm ok, thanks. I'm pretty much an introvert, so life isn't too much different so far. Mostly I'm just concerned about all the economic impact to so many people we know. Trying to help out as much as possible with gift cards for food, funds and whatnot. I'm hoping it will be over fairly soon. ~ J.W. I had an ankle replacement 2 weeks [...]

Coping with Coronavirustonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:36-04:00

Coping with the Covid-19 Crisis (part one)

This week, I've been contacting Facebook friends to see how they are doing coping with this Covid-19 crisis. The responses I've received show a resilient spirit even in the face of uncertain times. Here are some examples of this: I’m doing good and practicing self-quarantine. My food supply is staying safe and in plenty. I’m definitely not going hungry. My only major concern, I have no income since this all started. I’m going to sign up for unemployment today. So, I’ll see if I qualify and maybe have a little bit coming in. Thank you for asking. I hope you are doing well too. ~ M.C. Pretty good, although I work at an "essential" store where hoards of people are ignoring the lockdown and come in for retail therapy, exposing us and other shoppers to the virus. They just don't care and it's frustrating. Gotta go, thanks for [...]

Coping with the Covid-19 Crisis (part one)tonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:36-04:00

How Are You Weathering This Virus Crisis? One Grieving Woman’s Response.

When this pandemic began, I started sending out messages to my Facebook friends that asked, "How are you weathering this virus crisis?" I got a wide range of responses. A few just responded, "Fine. You?" Some shared concerns over loved ones on the front-lines of healthcare, food delivery, law enforcement. Others mentioned the loneliness they felt separated from friends and family. Many expressed gratitude that I reached out. They found that the connection with a virtual stranger turned friend had healing qualities. One particular connection moved me in a powerful way. Me: Hi P, just checking in with friends and loved ones. How are you weathering the virus crisis? P: My mother died this morning at age 92. We can't hold a funeral because of the lock down. Me: Oh my, I'm so sorry. P: My church is closed. I feel so disoriented. Me: How awful! P: What a [...]

How Are You Weathering This Virus Crisis? One Grieving Woman’s Response.tonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:36-04:00

A Pandemic Prayer Journal

March 20, 9 a.m. Me: Hey V., how are you weathering this virus crisis?" V: We are doing ok. A little more depressed. That is normal. It is affecting almost everyone. Worried about seeing our retirement being wiped out. I have a back up plan. If things get to the point I cannot handle it , I will end my life. That is my back up plan for anything that is totally overwhelmingly. I cannot control it. I know I am not the only senior this is happening to. I know what it is like to barely have what I need. I am grateful for what have had and what I have, but I am at the point in my life there is no way of replenishing my savings and no one to be there for us. We do not have family. I do have a brother , but even [...]

A Pandemic Prayer Journaltonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:36-04:00

An Epistle from the Epidemic by Rev. Leslie D. Rust

In this age of anxiety about the virus crisis, some spread scare tactics that produce panic. Others point to hope in the midst of despair, faith in the face of fear, peace where worry abounds. Les Rust is one of the latter. I've known Les since our grad school days at Louisville Presbyterian Seminary. We were in some classes together and were part of a small weekly prayer group. Les has a non-anxious presence well-worn in his short bearded stature. His sweet Appalachian drawl conveyed the thoughtful well-read Southern intelligence often discounted by ignorant Yankees as hillbilly nonsense. A graduate of Berea College, Les has a wood worker's hands and a pastor's heart. I'm blessed to call him a friend, my brother in Christ. Of all the arrows in his quiver, I appreciate his gift for writing the most. I am thrilled he is putting this to good use in [...]

An Epistle from the Epidemic by Rev. Leslie D. Rusttonyroberts2024-08-26T13:03:36-04:00

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