Hope for Troubled Minds: A Daughter and Her Parents Express Gratitude

Dear Mom and Dad, Thank you for loving my battered soul and caring for me when all I could do was hurt and hate myself. Thank you for the care and support. The hours of holding my hand through what we later learned were panic attacks. Thank you for taking me to the ER, and numerous doctors to try to find the cause of my unease. My disease. Which we later learned was called manic depression, or bipolar when we went to a psychiatrist. Dad thank you for the many overtime hours you worked so our family could have a stay at home mom and health care. Thank you mom for being my angel. Thank you for always offering the HOPE that life can get better and that I could be well. I now live a happy healthy life in marriage with a family of my own because of your [...]

Hope for Troubled Minds: A Daughter and Her Parents Express Gratitude2022-12-14T14:01:05-05:00

Hope for Troubled Minds: To Dearest Dad, most lovingly from Helen

Dearest Dad, It has been twenty years since you took your own life. I have only just begun to openly talk about your life and death. Why? Maybe it was because we didn’t celebrate your life with family and friends in early February, 2001. Maybe it was because I didn’t fully understand the extend of your mental illness. Maybe it was because you and Mom moved to Florida in 1972 and there wasn’t much visitation between the families. Thanks for being my father. I am blessed to call you “Dad” and want to tell the world about our life together. I remember living in our small house when I was very young. I was unaware that most six-years didn’t go to bed while the sun was still shining brightly. Mother would fix supper for Nancy and me. She would not eat with us but ate with you when you came [...]

Hope for Troubled Minds: To Dearest Dad, most lovingly from Helen2022-08-14T12:54:57-04:00

Hope for Troubled Minds: Compassion Amid the Chaos

These letters are written by Vikki Plessinger. Vikki is Christian data clerk who hopes to retire in 7 months. She enjoys family vacations & get-togethers, gardening, fishing, hiking & puzzles.   I am a mother of 2 children with brain illnesses.  One is trying so desperately to save his life.  The other seems determined to end hers. My son has a very rare, Central Neurocytoma  tumor in the 3rd ventricle of his brain with malignancy.  And my daughter has a 17-year drug addiction that has led to psychosis. We'll start with my son.  My first-born baby.  He had a fall and hit his head & his symptoms led to a CT scan which has led to 8 months of appointments, scans, diagnoses, surgeries & gamma knife radiation.  He has lost cognitive abilities, memory, and well, a lot of his life.   Justin, This current journey of ours is so very difficult.  [...]

Hope for Troubled Minds: Compassion Amid the Chaos2023-01-15T14:31:35-05:00

My Back Pages: Bob Dylan & I

Crimson flames tied through my ears Rolling high and mighty traps Pounced with fire on flaming roads Using ideas as my maps "We'll meet on edges, soon, " said I Proud 'neath heated brow Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth "Rip down all hate, " I screamed Lies that life is black and white Spoke from my skull, I dreamed Romantic facts of musketeers Foundationed deep, somehow Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now Girl's faces formed the forward path From phony jealousy To memorizing politics of ancient history Flung down by corpse evangelists Unthought of, though, somehow Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now A self-ordained professor's tongue Too serious to fool Spouted out that liberty is just equality in school "Equality, " I spoke the [...]

My Back Pages: Bob Dylan & I2021-02-09T13:31:57-05:00

What Child This Is!

first published December 24, 2017...   … Christmas is not only the mile-mark of another year, moving us to thoughts of self-examination: it is a season, from all its associations, whether domestic or religious, suggesting thoughts of joy. A man dissatisfied with his endeavours is a man tempted to sadness. And in the midst of the winter, when his life runs lowest and he is reminded of the empty chairs of his beloved, it is well he should be condemned to this fashion of the smiling face. Noble disappointment, noble self-denial are not to be admired, not even to be pardoned, if they bring bitterness. It is one thing to enter the kingdom of heaven maim; another to maim yourself and stay without. And the kingdom of heaven is of the childlike, of those who are easy to please, who love and who give pleasure.  (from “A Christmas Sermon” by [...]

What Child This Is!2019-12-26T01:32:59-05:00

He Was in Heaven Before He Died

I wrote this story about a decade ago. It is not based solely on facts. I did have a Grandpa George and this was pretty much how he lived and died. But I didn't make it to the funeral. Instead, I was in a hellish heaven of my own on the psych unit of Columbia Presbyterian.   I got the call late at night that Grandpa George had died.  He had lived a hard life.  He didn't have the opportunity to get a good education.  He never learned to read or write because his demanding father made him quit school to help in the fields.   He worked hard to get by and managed to scrape together a living.  He met a woman - Maize - at the tomato factory where he worked.  She says he was throwing tomatoes at her, so she knew he liked her.   They were married [...]

He Was in Heaven Before He Died2018-12-30T14:48:02-05:00

Happy Daddy Day

It's Fathers Day. I've celebrated with my Dad the blessings he has brought into my life. Now I'm doing an honest assessment of who I have been as a father to my four children. I want to steer clear of a depressive pity party as well as a manic recounting of my amazing moments. Just remember. The good along with the not-so-good. I was not prepared to be a father. Is anyone? But when they handed me my bundled baby girl, my heart melted. I was as grateful to God as I have ever been. The prospect that this child was mine filled me with delight as well as desperation. How would I provide for her? What if I screw up? Who the hell did God think I was to deserve such a blessing? It's been over 26 years now since that glorious day and here are three things I [...]

Happy Daddy Day2018-06-18T01:22:50-04:00

Heritage from the Lord; Fruit of the Womb

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,     the fruit of the womb a reward.  (Psalm 127:3) After worship today we had a luncheon recognizing Nursery volunteers. Our coordinator shared Psalm 127:3 and noted how important children are in the life of the faith family. She called the names of those who are serving in nursery care. It was quite impressive to hear of the many women, men, and teens devoting their time to see that the youngest among us are cared for in Christ. This day also happens to be my grandson's second birthday. I don't see him often, but each time I do he is a delight. Unlike his older sister who has the vocabulary of an Oxford grad, he is the daredevil in the family. All boy, as they say. We were playing on their jungle gym and I noticed when he got to the bottom of the slide [...]

Heritage from the Lord; Fruit of the Womb2018-06-03T20:26:14-04:00

Reaching Out; Letting Go: Kelcey Rockhold

Kelcey Rockhold is an exiled Portlandier now living in Tuscon. I ran across her story as I was browsing for personal narratives about depression. We have followed each other over three years now and I have found our writing relationship very enriching and inspirational. Kelcey is in a much different place than where she was three years ago and it has been a blessing to see her grow. +     +     + For years, I was told by medical professionals that I most likely wouldn’t have kids. Sometimes I would hear that I “shouldn’t”. My mental state for quite a few years was rocky to say the least, due in large part to an eating disorder I was battling. My heart was broken for so long, believing deep down that I would never have kids, even though that was the only thing in the world I [...]

Reaching Out; Letting Go: Kelcey Rockhold2018-02-11T19:33:02-05:00
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